What I did on my summer vacation...

Never left the house.

Now, that’s a lie. I’m only in four days and have been home bound half of that (the other two days full of errand running equaling most people’s weeks!). It is to be expected, to want to lay around with the dog and watch bad daytime TV.

We canceled the cable just in time—I was watching a program on VH1 called Tough Love, where some douche bag is helping slutty but insecure girls find a solid and healthy relationship. It was like watching a car wreck, slow motion drunken drooling and outrageous hollering. Like Rehab for Botox injected sex addicts.

Speaking of which, I’m addicted to a new series. The never having to leave the house thing is really because of Netflix. They are enablers, those little red-envelope pushing darlings. Not only have I been cashing in on like 6 DVDs a week, but I’ve begun the instant viewing on my computer.

And good golly if I haven’t fallen head over heels for David Duchovny all over again. I didn’t think I’d even make it through one episode of Californication because it seemed so unnecessarily raucous and sleazy. I think I counted 10 set of bare shaking breasts in the pilot alone. But that faded away, fell to the background, and I found myself watching the entire freaking season 1 on the couch, eyes welling up, head shaking. Sucked into Duchovny’s total asshole persona all the while adoring him and realizing how amazing he actually is.

(Side note: Has degrees in English. Senior thesis on Beckett! Has an MA in English from Yale. Was going to pursue a PhD. I knew he was bright, but hot shit! He’s stolen my heart!)

Coincidentally, I’m almost done with Twin Peaks, which I’m watching for the first time. Hey—I was like 10 when it was on TV. I was busy with 90210 and that kind of pre-pubescent stuff. My Duchovny fest was punctuated with the appearance of the DEA’s agent Denise...in heels and a dress. Slightly different venture, but still charming. I love the series, but it is spiraling downward quickly. Non-renewal will do that to your writing.

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That’s what married life has become. Cleaning, watching bad TV, begging my tomatoes to grow, waiting for the husband to come home and entertain me with good TV. Bought a new TV only to cancel the cable and end up watching shows on my computer (Which I will figure out how to connect to the TV for superior viewing pleasure, mind you. #45686 on my things to do). I got a bike! We canceled the gym. Things seem much more simple now. Walking for hours through local neighborhoods with the dog, house dreaming and planning. Plotting.

For season 2.